By: â€“ Desiree Holmes Scherini, CHt, NLP
There sometimes comes a point where you realize you need to give it up. You need to give up the things youâ€™ve loved toward a higher happiness. Itâ€™s a process full of conflict and dismay and self-doubt. Itâ€™s a process full of advice from others- to stay, to leave, keep it, let it go. It is the dilemma of growing and changing.
Both material passions and emotional ties that were once treasured slowly get pushed away. First stored in a drawer or closet, or the back of your mind; then pushed to the back of the closet and briefly forgotten. But, when we come across them, while digging in the past we still cling to them, with a sense of security and nostalgia. Hanging onto what they represented; what they once were. We hang on for fear that, if we let them go, what was good will be gone.
Sometimes we open the drawer, peeking into the hidden place where we put them, looking at them fondly, but slowly, we begin seeing them cluttered amidst resentments. There comes a point where they no longer belong to us, but rather we are possessed by them.
We are bound up by the fear of letting go, the fear of guilt, the fear of disappointing others because weâ€™ve thrown out a gift given, or a love bestowed.
Sometimes we keep these bittersweet belongings, fearfully thinking they may be needed someday, â€śthis is a beautiful thing, maybe I should keep it, even if I donâ€™t want it or, or use it, what if I canâ€™t get it again!?â€ť
But the emotional investment of saved up ardor and gathered memories becomes a burdensome weight that pulls us down.
Sometimes itâ€™s so overwhelming we want to hastily burn it all! Sweep the table and heart clear, pack up and leave with no forwarding address for things or emotions to follow. But then the angst passes and the pendulum swings back center and we recognize its time to methodically pick through those hidden places where things have been kept too long and choose carefully what to keep and what to let go.
Clear the closet of the clothing that was gifted and never worn. Clear the table tops of souvenirs from a past life. Clear the heart of the affection that sits on the shelf, unaccepted, left waiting like a homeless orphan.
They say when you close one door another opensâ€¦ when you clear out the old, youâ€™ll find room for the new. It seems the first thing to be thrown out is the fear â€“ fear that the open door leads nowhere, or the new will be worse than the old.
A future free of fearful preconceptions and expectations just may be hidden under what we need to sort through. Open the door, let in some fresh air, while we sort through our spaces.